All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
