I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
