she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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