so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize