Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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