He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
MIDGETS
????
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
