I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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