i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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