Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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