Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize