mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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