God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
why is half of my head shaved?
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