if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
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Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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