You made me cry and you don't even care
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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