just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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