I'm lost and stupid without you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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