How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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