I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
