I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
be right there i have to get my cape
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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