All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
FUCK WHALES
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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