We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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