Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
