Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
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Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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