I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
