He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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