Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
