Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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