Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm having to shit out rocks
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
