I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
