Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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