Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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