I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
