people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
