is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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