i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.