That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?