do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
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I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it