He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
