Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize