I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
