i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
