a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
