from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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