I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize