i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
