That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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