im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Houston, we have a squirter
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
