You smell like stripper and shame
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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