No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Randomize
