sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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