when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
