Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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