its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize