he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
