he thought i was a dude.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The air was thick with penises
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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