the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
