I just saw a hot homeless man
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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