I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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