in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize