Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
whose parrot is this?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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