Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
